how to make friends & charm people

Via Pinterest

(That was a play on How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, in case you couldn’t tell. Antonyms of alienate are hard to come by!).

Being relatively new to Raleigh, I’m in search of girl friends (because of circumstances, I have plenty of guy friends). I’ve been very bad about having a good work life balance since starting a business is so time-intensive.

One of my favorite friendship quotes is:

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.  ~Robert Brault

I absolutely agree. For me, the most meaningful friendships are the ones where I can say “Hey I’m coming over in 10 minutes” rather than having to plan a week or two in advance. On many Saturdays back in DC, I’d tell one of my best friends to meet me at the corner Starbucks or our favorite brunch place (Bread and Chocolate!) in a few minutes. We’d then watch Bethenny on the couch or take random walks around the city. Those are some of the days I’ll always remember.

So how does one find friends in a new city?

  • In my limited experience, it’s often better to join an interest-based group rather than a generic “I’m looking for friends” group. Anyone out there disagree?
  • The gym: Classes like yoga and Pilates often help foster friendships since everyone is struggling with the same moves! In one class I attend at the Y, the instructor has us introduce ourselves to one new person, which I love.
  • Start your own group: Selfishly, one of my motivations for putting together the group of young female bloggers is so I can make friends. Admittedly, it’s a bit easier with something like blogging because you can find and reach out to everyone online.
  • Volunteer:  Linking up with a local group like Change the Triangle is a great way to meet like-minded awesome young adults. CTT’s model is particularly cool because it pairs each service project with a social event, so you’re sure to get balanced individuals.
  • Take a class: Even if you don’t make a friend, you’ll become more talented!
  • Join an intramural sports league: TRI Sports runs leagues for several different sports, and I know tons of people who become friends with their teammates.
  • Join a book club: I’m such a nerd, I would LOVE to do this (in my spare time). Just make sure it’s a demographic that could become your friends (not to bash the elderly ladies’ book club!).
  • Make friends in the bathroom line: No seriously. Girls do this.

I absolutely believe that you have to put yourself in places where you are likely to meet like-minded individuals, but I also know that, oftentimes, friendships evolve from unlikely situations. For example, several of the girls at my sister’s birthday dinner knew each other because they had posted Craigslist ads to find a roommate! Hence my belief that you should always be open to potential friendships as you go through your day.

One last thought on this: sometimes I feel intimidated to ask someone to hang out but 1) who doesn’t want more friends?! and 2) if they say no, you probably don’t want to be friends with them anyway 🙂

This article mentions a group of bloggers that came together organically in LA! This page lists 25 places to meet new people.

Anyone ever tried a site like Girlfriend Social? It’s a website that allows women to form {completely platonic} friendships with other women! Interestinggg…How else have you met your close friends?

5 thoughts on “how to make friends & charm people

  1. Love this post!! It seems like it’d be so hard to meet people when you’re in a new area, but your ideas are awesome. I especially love the bloggers meetup idea 😉 I wonder why? ha. You know I’m always up for trying new things in the Raleigh/Durham area so keep me posted friend 🙂

  2. Pingback: a retrospect: top + favorite posts from my blog « Scintillating Simplicity

  3. I was just talking to a friend in NYC about this yesterday! It’s hard to leave your network and start over somewhere new. I think it’s great you’re taking initiative and I love the idea of starting a female blogger group! You know I’d be there if I could get a cheap flight to Raleigh 🙂

    • The time right after graduation- especially if you move- is definitely challenging.

      Thanks for the nice words 🙂 You are overdue for a Raleigh visit- we ARE America’s #1 City now haha!

      Hope everything is great!!

  4. Pingback: diggin through the archives, part vii « Scintillating Simplicity

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