Does It Really Come When You Least Expect It?

As the adage goes, things {like relationships} happen when you least expect them. Accordingly, people tell you to stop searching and just wait for something great to come along.

But when you move to a new city, do you wait for friends to come along? No, you join Meetup groups and kickball teams and go to classes at the Y. When you get fired, do you wait for a job opportunity to come along? No, you find networking events and search CareerBuilder religiously.

So why doesn’t this logic apply to relationships? Why is putting yourself out there, testing out speed dating, or joining an online dating site often considered desperate instead of just taking control of your dating life?

I’m all about the philosophy that things happen for a reason and often things do come when you least expect them. But I don’t use that mentality as justification for sitting back and hoping luck takes over. On the flip side, I do think there’s a big difference between getting out there and being flat-out desperate.

I also think there’s something to be said for living a full, engaged life and having side benefits {like a relationship!} be part of your “reward.”

What do you think? Do things happen when you least expect them or do you need to put yourself out there? 

Whenever I write my Thought of the Day posts, I think about the fact that you can find a piece of wisdom to match anything you feel. Ever noticed that?

For more on my philosophy on created luck, see this post!


4 thoughts on “Does It Really Come When You Least Expect It?

  1. Charlie and I met online and it worked for us! I think when people say the adage that things happen when you least expect them, it’s a coping mechanism or “advice” for people to let go and live their life and not base their happiness on finding a man or woman. I think the line is true for people who focus most of their energy on it. That’s not attractive to anybody! Part of falling in love is (usually) seeing someone that has interests and ambitions and so when you focus on life and on you, things are likely to start happening! Hope I made sense.

    Btw can you and Sara make it out to Alabama at all? I’m here through July 20 and would love to see you.


    • When I met my husband, I didn’t realize that I had been dating the same type of guy over and over again. A close friend introduced me to my husband, who is definitely the “outdoorsy” type I would have hesitated to date in the past. Turns out, he was just what I needed! It’s more about keeping an open mind than anything else, in my opinion.

  2. My gran always says ‘what’s for you won’t go by you’, but that’s too risky. You can’t sit back and trust to fate….you must get out there and make something happen.

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